Family Matters

Parenting Styles:

Research has shown that the style of discipline administered to a child has a significant effect on the child's development. The methods used to discipline a child also have an impact on the relationship between the parent and child. These disciplinary methods and approaches can also influence a child's mood and temperament (character) into adulthood. There are four main types of parenting styles which are authoritative, neglectful, permissive, and authoritarian. The different styles have different characteristics and invoke different reactions from the child. There is no absolute discipline method. The chosen style is dependent on what the parent feels the child requires from the parent. This results in each style using a different approach to discipline.

The following description of each style and its characteristics will assist parents in raising a responsible, happy and productive member of society.

1. Authoritarian/ Strict Parenting

This parenting style consists of more demands from parents and less responsiveness. The child is expected to follow the rules that are set with little or no exception. There is no explanation of the expected rules, and little or no room for negotiation. The child and parent are not involved in an open dialogue. The child is not given the opportunity of problem solving as the parents expect rules to be followed in all situations.

Punishment is used to enforce a rule instead of consequences. Punishment is also used to demand obedience or teach a lesson. Although this results in the child following most rules, the child may develop self esteem problems. The child may become aggressive or hostile and angry at their parents for the punishment rather than allowing their child to learn how to make their own decisions and solve their own problems.

Characteristics of authoritarian parenting style:

Strict rules with no exceptions
No explanations offered for the rules.
Child has few choices and decisions about their own life
Punishment is used to get the child to do what parents ask.
Reserved in the amount of nurturing and affection given to the child.

Although structure is beneficial for a child's development, it must not be overdone. Structure needs to be balanced out with open communication so the child knows why each rule is important for them. Children raised with this parenting style are often shy, avoid social interaction, have low self esteem, have difficulty with expressing love and may misbehave when the authoritarian parent is not around.

2. Authoritative Parenting:

The authoritative parenting style can be recognized by the high expectations parents have for their children which is moderated with understanding and support for the child. The parent sets realistic rules that the child is expected to follow and assists the child in understanding the reasons for the rules. An authoritative parent considers the child's feelings when making the rules and setting the limit. This fosters a productive relationship between parent and child.

Consequences are used instead of punishments when rules are not followed. Positive consequences are often used to reinforce good behaviour. They also use more positive consequences to reinforce good behaviour and may be more willing than authoritarian parents to use reward systems and praise.

Authoritative Parenting characteristics:

Child's day has structure, such as bedtime and understood household rules.
Consequences for disrupting the structure or breaking rules
Child understands the behaviour you expect of them
The expected behaviour is reasonable.
Open communication between parent and child.
Child can speak freely without fear of harsh judgement or negative consequences.

Research suggests that children raised with an authoritative parenting style are good at decision making and evaluating risks. Approaches to this style may differ to accommodate the child. They develop into responsible adults who are comfortable with expressing their opinions and respecting the opinion's of others.

3. Neglectful / Uninvolved parenting

This parenting style is harmful as parents do not provide their child with basic needs and may expect the child to raise themselves. This may be due to the parent's mental health issues or substance abuse problems. A parent may also lack early exposures to healthy parenting as a child; knowledge about parenting and their child's development; may be overwhelmed by their own problems; poor marital relationships with their spouses/partners and single parenting.

Neglectful parents do not have much knowledge of what their child is doing. There are few rules or expectations. The child may not receive any nurturing or guidance and necessary parental attention. This may result in low self esteem, poor academic performance, poor physical health, negative peer affiliations and behavioural problems for the child. Parents using this parenting style should be confronted and need professional assistance to develop a healthy and loving relationship with their child before further damage is inflicted on the child's development.

Characteristics of a neglectful/ uninvolved parent:

Lack of consideration for the child's spiritual, social, emotional, physical, educational and psychological well being.
No knowledge or structure of the child's day.
Lack of support and encouragement of child’s goals and aspirations.
Failure to provide a safe space for the child to express opinions; needs or share experiences without harsh judgement.
The child is left home alone for long periods of time.
No contact or knowledge of the child's teachers or friends.
Uninvolved in the child's life outside the home.

Research suggests that neglectful parenting is damaging to children, due to the absence of a foundation with their parents which affects their ability to trust. Children who have a negative or absent relationship with their parents find it more difficult to form relationships with friends and other individuals in their surroundings.

4. Permissive/Indulgent parenting

This parenting style tends to be too lenient in order to avoid confrontation. The parent esteems the role of a friend. There are few rules set for the child, and these rules are often inconsistent when they are enforced. Parents only get involved when the problem is serious. This causes the child to develop a poor sense of self discipline and self control due to the lack of structure. This approach is often adopted as an extreme opposite to the parent's own authoritarian upbringing. In other instances parents may just be afraid to enforce rules that upset the child. This results in children struggling academically, exhibiting behavioural problems, failing to appreciate authority and rules. Although parents using this style offer love and nurturing, their child is likely to have low self esteem and experience sadness or poor satisfaction with life.

Characteristics of Permissive/Indulgent parenting:

Few or no limits of rules for the child
Compromise rules to accommodate the child's mood
Avoid conflict with the child
Willing to be the child's best friend rather than their parent
Bribing the child with large rewards to accomplish something.

Permissive parenting offers a sense of freedom with no consequences, but children require structure to provide safety and limits. A distinction between parental roles and the child's role is essential for their healthy development.

According to a study published in the scientific Journal of Early Adolescence, it was found that teens with permissive parents are three times more likely to engage in heavy underage alcohol consumption. Intimate partner violence, consumption of illegal drug use/abuse and engaging in criminal acts are also likely to result from permissive parenting. This is likely due to their lack of consequences for their behaviour by this parenting style.

Other damaging effects of permissive parenting include:

Insecurity in children from a lack of set boundaries
Poor social skills, such as sharing, from lack of discipline
Self-centeredness
Poor academic success from lack of motivation
Clashing with authority

Conclusion

Although there are four main types of parenting styles, parents may not always fit into just one category. In order to determine the best disciplinary style, the requirements of the child have to be taken into consideration. The style and approach used to convey discipline in that style may vary for each parent and child relationship. The most important thing to acknowledge is that the manner in which a parent chooses to discipline a child will have an impact of their development and their adult life. The most effective strategy will be the one that results in the child becoming a responsible adult who is able to make healthy decisions on their own.

References:

Plotnik, R & Kouyoumdjian, H. (2010). Introduction to Psychology. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth Publishing.

http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/too-permissive-parents?page=3

http://www.the-positive-parenting-centre.com/permissive_parenting_style.html

http://psychology.about.com/od/developmentalpsychology/a/parenting-style.htm

http://www.answers.com/topic/parent-child-relationships?cat=health

Baumrind, D. (1991). The influence of parenting style on adolescent competence and substance use. Journal of Early Adolescence, 11(1), 56-95.

http://psychology.about.com/od/childcare/f/authoritative-parenting.htm

http://cccrd.publishpath.com/Websites/cccrd/images/NParenting.pdf

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